Why, Why, Why????

Why is it right when you delete a guys number they call you, text you with in that week? WHY!!?? I really don't get it!! I deleted The Romanian's number on Monday, I thought I'll keep him in my phone from the day I got it till the weekend and if he didn't contact me I would delete it, he didn't contact me so bye bye Mr. Romanian! But I just received a text from him just now, 2 days later from delete!! Maybe I should do this more often.........like every number I get from a guy I should just delete right away and with in a few hours or days they will contact me, I also don't run the chance of feeling desperate to call or text them like a looser..........yes I'm liking this idea very much!! BUT, I don't like it when you delete a guy's number who has broken your heart and calls/text's you, no matter what they all call/text you once you delete them from your phone...........WHY????? And we are the hard to figure out ones!!

Good Day!

The weather today finely decided to give us a summer day, thanks Mother Nature!! I put together a dam cute outfit if I do say so myself (wish I took a picture!). Anyways, as I was sitting out front of class (20 min early) rummaging though my bag I looked up for a second because I herd some talking going on just a ways down the hall, 2 guys, teacher and student, nothing interesting, look back down to put some lotion and SPF on my hands and out of the corner of my eye I see the student pass by me and stop. I do love when my woman's intuition is right because I knew this guy was going to turn around, come up and talk to me........he did! He said something along the lines of "You don't like dry hands?" not the best conversation starter but, who am I to judge! I said yes, and then I said I also don't like burnt hands, and showed him the bottle of SPF, he smiled, introduced himself and sat down. He's from Romania, we talked for a bit before he had to go to his next class, he complemented me on my way of thinking....I liked this complement very much!! He asked me for my number and I gave it to him, no big hopes for the phone call, if anything it was kind of nice to get hit on being that as of lately my guy situation has been not that great!

My sports class is actually VERY interesting and I'm really happy about it!! Last week we watched this video about these corporate guys making money off of athletes, the things they "make" them do, then they showed what goes on around the world, this part was sad! Some place in the middle east they have Camel racing and some of these families are so poor they will sell their boy as young as 3 to ride the camel, these boys are treated so bad; if they don't win a race the men beat and rape them!!! They interviewed this one little boy and he said "Yesterday I didn't win the race so they raped me" he said it like it was no big deal, my heart dropped and I felt sick!! Its really sad what people will do for money and its even more sad when children are involved!! Today's video was the rise and fall of this UFC fighter Mark Kerr , really great documentary, but sad at the same time.

After class was done I met up with my friend and both of us didn't have anything to do for the rest of the day so we decided to go have lunch, we picked West Portal, and had a fabulous lunch at Squat & Gobble Cafe, sat outside,the weather was so nice to do so and chatted it up like 2 old hens, oh how I love me a gay man! I also love a lunch buzz too!! After lunch we went our separate ways home, and I made it home just in time to catch a few rays........like I said it was a good day!!

1996

I loved this song when I was in 6th grade, I thought it had the coolest background sound I had ever herd!

A jumble of things....

Shirley.
School has started and so far so good..........surprisingly!! My math class, or I should say my math teacher seems cool (cute guy in my class, but we will get to him next time) and so do the teacher aids, but for sure I don't think I would be in this state of mind if it wasn't for my most awesome privet tutor, she really is my godsend!!! On Monday, right before I was going to go into my tutoring center I decided to use the bathroom, when I was coming out of the stall who do I see washing her hands is this girl who I would talk with when I used to work on campus; she worked in one of the rooms I would visit often. I asked how she was and how are her classes, how was her summer, she said her summer wasn't good, I told her mine was okay as well, then she adds "oh I think my summer was the worst then anybody else s!". I look at her and I can see her eyes filling up with water, she tells me her Dad died over the summer, I felt sooooooooooooooo bad!!!!! I asked her did he have health problems or was it a freak accident? She said no one knows if he had health problems because he refused to see a doctor, then she said that one day she came over to the house and he was complaining that he was in pain, he burnt himself while eating soup, she asked if she could see where it hurt but he wouldn't show her; she wasn't in the mood to fight with him so she left, when she came back 12 hours later to show him something she bought for him he was lying in bed not moving and she just knew he wasn't sleeping! As selfish as this is going to sound as she's telling me all of this all I could think about is how the fuck would I be able to cope with school, even though I'm not that close to my father I still love him. It was a little uniform to see her cry being that this girl is a touch cookie (reasons why I like her), so it was nice to see she had a soft side : / I felt really bad, I asked her has she thought about talking with someone, she said she wasn't interested.....I let that go, didn't want to push it, I kind of get lost for words when sad incidences happen, so all I could think of was asking if I could give her a hug........and I gave a good one too :) I wanted to talk more with her but I was already 5 minutes late for my tutor center, so I told her it was good to see her and I will stop by to check up on her, gave her another good hug and told her she is a strong young women, you will be okay!

I do believe she will be okay, at some point we will have to face this, it just happened too soon for my friend!

Bad Ass!
A few weeks ago everyone who I wanted to hang out with was doing there own thing and I really wanted to go to the event that was going on at the Lower Haighters Gallery.....tons of hot guys show up to this once a month event!!! Anyways, this girl who I would only see at her work or some social gatherings I would attend to sometimes, we kind of said we would make an effort to hang out outside of all of that, and I was interested in this, being that she is the only single female that I know now! Cant really go hunting for dick when a chick who is spoken for. Anyways, I call her up and ask if she would like to go, she said sure, she brought one of her friends along and we all go........the event didn't get a good turn out this time and I was a little embarrassed, but they were cool with it, so we stop off at a bar near by to have a drink and then head back over to our neighborhood bar. Now the most awesome thing happened to me......before we go into the bar she wants to smoke a cigarette and I happen to have some cloves on me so I decide to join her, as we are shooting the shit before we go in the bar she just out of the blue tells me I'm a bad ass!! At first I had to make her repeat it, she says it again and then adds "I never really got to know you until tonight and you are a bad ass, I always thought you were kind prude (I think I am) but your cool man!" Now, who knows if she really meant it, maybe she was just kissing my ass, all I know NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS would I ever think anyone would EVER call me a bad ass!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!! Maybe she is so wrong, but all i know is that it felt good, it was the best complement in a long time and I still think about it :)

I want to be just like her!
I went to the long weekend event called Homo-A-GoGo, my friends and I only went to see the group Glass Candy because it had been a group we had been meaning to see for a while now but kept missing them when they would come to the city. Anyways, may I just say what an amazing proformas! After a few songs she would talk to us and her vibe was so positive it was so awesome, her dancing was awesome and so was her hair!!!! When they were done my friend and I couldn't stop talking about how we would like to be her friend, ha!! Next time they come back to the city I hope to see them again!!

Unexpected phone call!

Last Tuesday night was setting up my new cell phone when a random number called my cell, it was around 10ish and most of the time I don't pick up random number calls but I think my brain wasn't thinking so I pick up. I say "hello?" "T. hey its Surfer Guy..." HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He then adds "I guess you dont have me in your phone anymore the way you answered, and I dont blame you" "Your right I dont" he adds, "Look I'm really glad you picked up, I'm calling to say I'm sorry" "okay..." "I have been thinking alot about you and how the way everything ended wasn't very nice on my part and there was a reason why I didnt want to kiss you or hold your hand that night was because I get like blisters on the side of my lip sometimes if my face gets sunburn from surfing and I didnt want you to kiss me because I thought it would be gross". I tell him, I didnt even notice it, then he tells me over and over and over again how sorry he was and says he thinks we could have been something together. I tell him that as much as he is easy on the eyes he is not easy with the personalty!! "Ouch" he says, then he asks to see me!!!!! I asked him why, what would be the point, he says he feels he has more to say..........as much as this guy hurt me and made me cry, I do find him very cute and amazing in bed!! I tell him fine, so I go to his place the next night and we talk for a long time, it more shoot the shit talk, I thought we would be talking about "us", then he comes closer to me and we kiss...parts get touched and I end it right when he says he wants to be inside of me........FUCK NO AM I HAVING SEX WITH THIS DUDE, EVEN IF HE'S GOOD IN BED!!!! I can tell he's a little bit upset (I DONT CARE!!). He gets up to leave the room, but before he leaves he asks if I would like some water, I say yes, he comes back with water for me and a beer for himself. We start talking agian and I tell him this story about this lady at school and he brought up that I expect too much of people; when he said this it made me think about my last blog on how I view people in my life and he was right, I do expect too much from people!!

We keep talking, but all the conversations feel forced and it was kind of exhausting for me and I wanted to leave but wasn't sure how to go about it until he tells me about his roommate that just broke up with this girlfriend and I guess how he just said to her its over and now every time he try's to call her she wont pick up....I said "well can you blame her?", Surfer Guy lost his shit and said "why would you say that!!" I look at him like "wtf dude" I was so confused, its my opinion, I can say whatever I want, I didn't know what to say, he tells me he wasn't done with the story. Okay so you know when your talking with someone and they are telling you a story and maybe they stop the story for a second but you know they are going to keep going and you pick up that cue? Well Surfer Guy did not give me any sign that there was more to this story, AT ALL!!! He stays on why would I say something like that and I am so over all of this, I start to put my boots and coat on and he flips out again "why are you leaving?" (because your crazy!!!) I tell him that "I think this is not going very well and I dont like all the questions your asking me!" He says he's sorry and he didnt mean to upset me, I stand up, so does hi, he walks me to the door and he has the nerve to ask to see me on Saturday!!!! I look up at him and I said "Surfer Guy we keep getting into arguments, this is not going to work, and I think it was never meant to work" he gives me a hug and says "sorry" again. I turn to walk away and he says "I'll talk with you later". THE FUCK YOU WONT!!! If that fucker contacts me again I think I'll call the police!!!!

As I was driving home Black Eyed Peas was playing "and tonight's going to be good night", I found it to be the opposite from what my night was but then I thought, no, it was a good night! I learned something out that visit! 1. I expect too much from people, 2. Once an ass whole, always an ass whole and 3. If you have a hunch something is not a good idea, don't do it!!!

Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling from UniversalMusicGroup on Vimeo.

August Favorites

I think this dress is just stunning! It's by Alxender McQueen, I thought about how it would look with black instead of the yellow and then the black lace part would be white, but that would be to ordinary/expected? The yellow is very unexpected and the lace (if that's what it is) is breath taking...good job McQueen!!


Antonio Berardi collection I LOVE, there are very few peaces in the fall/winter 09/10 collection that I don't like. They are all very simple with some of my favoret colors!

http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/slideshow/2010RST-ABERARDI/

This Jil Sander shoe I think is HOT HOT HOT, and the moment I saw it I dreamed of wearing it, hens DREAM!!


We all have a little "she wolf" in our closet!! I think this is Sherika's best song yet, the dancing is CRAZY GOOD, but I will say the end is a little cheesy, but they show a fake background of SF so that's cool!

SheWolf from C. Enrique B. on Vimeo.

Brilliant!

Sonny Groo from Stylelikeu.com from Stylelikeu on Vimeo.

Its very hard to have any kind of relationship he said.

A few weeks ago I was home on a Saturday night and I checked the T.V. Guide to see what was on, I saw this show was going to be coming up in a few minutes called "Your Brain In Love". The romantic that I am I had to check it out. The show starts and its this little guy who came across as kind of creepy/gay but then mentioned that he had a wife (as my mother says, "that doesn't always mean anything"!). His name is Dr. Daniel Amen and he first started to talk about people who have damaged brains, like from car accidents or from drug and alcohol use to people who have not had any of that happen to them. He went on talking about the battle of the sexes, how when men are at rest 70% of their brain is not working, so when you want to ask them something you need to use simple words and keep it a short sentence; unlike women, when we are at rest only 90% of our brain is not working, but in a way its not really resting, we are still thinking (so true, when I'm watching T.V., I'm thinking what I have to do tomorrow). All of this was interesting, but kind of like, I've already herd this before stuff until he brought up people with ADD/ADHD, now he got my attention!

To my knowledge, I have not be tested for ADD/ADHD, but I don't know for sure. Dr. Amen said that people who have a ADD/ADHD think with the front part of their brain (I think dyslexic's do too) unlike people who don't have ADD/ADHD. So for the front brain thinkers, they don't really do the whole think before you speak thing and that can you get you into trouble sometimes if your in a serious relationship! He says people who have this benefit from being on meds that helps you THINK before you speak! I found this VERY interesting, because I am known to just say whats on my mind, sometimes very honest or blunt, once in a blue moon it has gotten me into trouble, but I feel I think before I speak......I'm just honest in what comes out of my mouth! But it did get me thinking, do I think before I speak? And then I also started to think about all of my relationships, friends and guy's I have dated have never really worked out and has the reason for this been because of me?

Looking back in the past I have never really had a satisfying friendship and dudeship, all of them have screwed me over one way or another. I have talked about this in the past that I do put people on a pedestal, for friends its waiting for them to disappoint me and with guys expecting them to disappoint me. Is this wrong? I was talking about this with some girls over the weekend and they said no, but in a way I think it is, I mean I do have trust issues but do I have relationship issues as well? I have been hanging out with my cousin lately and when we get together we gossip and such, and she tells me about guys she has dated and what selfish thing one of her friends are/did to her and I have been thinking that this is just life! Yes, maybe I do have over the map relationship problems, but also no one is perfect and no matter what kind of relationship you are in with someone, friend, co-worker, boyfriend,bla bla bla, they are all going to disappoint you in some way.

I think its hard for me to understand this, when somethings goes wrong it really brings me down and the first thing I think of is "delete", cut it out of my life because its hard for me to see a solution to the problem. In the past few day's I've been thinking maybe I'm better off being alone because dealing/socializing with other people can be really overwhelming for me at times........Dr. Amen can you help me, or am I doomed for life?

Caleb Followill you can use me!

Sex is on fire from PirateSmoothie on Vimeo.

even Lykke Li knows what's up!

Exclusive Video of Lykke Li Covering Kings of Leon Live in KNRK studio from Dave Allen on Vimeo.

One more week of summer.

School starts for me next week and this week is my last week of summer....kind of sad. My summer hasn't been the greatest, but I have learned somethings this summer about my friends and my life. It has all been very useful information that I have gathered up over the past 3 months, and I'm a big believer on everything happens for a reason and what better time then now? I'm crossing my fingers really hard and ready to work harder then I've ever worked in my life to pass this math class and if it means going out less (as of lately I have been) then so be it. I want to make my dreams come true in the spring.....if all goes well I will have a job save the money and live with roommates, and be out of the most foggy part of the city!! I'm also willing to sacrifice not getting laid till now to December........BUT if the opportunity comes along I will not turn away from it, I'm just not going to hunt for it like I usually do; math is more important!!

I know when I put all my hard work into something the results show, I feel better about myself, it also helps to set a reward. Yes the big reward would to get a job and leave the nest but I've been itching to get my ass over to NYC for a long time now and so has one of my guy friends who lives over there. If I pass, NYC is my reward!!!

Let the challenge begin!!