Nightmare, R.I.P. “No Name” and the Bad Day

I was healed up by gun point, the guy wouldn’t let us go, somehow I text 911 for help and realize if the guy finds out that one of us called (text) for 911 he would shoot us all. We were being kept in a barn by a corn field, and then somehow again, I break free to run down to the path leading away from the barn to tell the police to turn off there sirens……….. and then I woke up.

Nightmares always disturb me, I wake up with my heart racing and I’m all clammy, it takes the rest of my morning to calm down and I analyze the crap out of why did I have a nightmare “what am I stressed about, what am I upset about?” .

Each morning 4 days a week I set my alarm for 6am, Alice 97.3 gets me up to start my day, Sara and No Name are my morning hosts. I’ve been an avid listener for a long time; I think I started when I was in 6th grade so 96-97? I went through the heartbreak of Vinnie being fired from the show because he just stopped showing up for work (so I heard) and I was pleased when they hired his replacement “No Name” .But this morning “No Name” was not on the air because I guess last Fri he said something about autistic children and this made parents who listen to the show who have autistic children very upset. Okay so I get it, I get annoyed and sometimes upset when I come across people who know nothing about dyslexia, but I try to keep in mind that there are a lot of ignorant people in this world and I can’t focus all of my energy with anger on them, it’s just not worth it. So to the parents out there thank you, thank you for firing “No Name” and being the bigger person and making a big deal out of something that all you could have just done was TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING RADIO!!!!!!! Now I have to go through I’m sure a month maybe ever longer of wondering who could ever fill “No Names” spot……….no one ever will. R.I.P “No Name” you will be missed :(

After my morning scare and loss, my day passed by surprisingly fast and before I knew it I was back home, but when I opened my computer to find that the one class I need to finish school has been CANCELED, well ladies and gents this bad news for sure has been the icing on the cake. Do know what this means? I have to find a class that’s not full (good luck for me)I also have to take this canceled class in the spring when I was planning of being done with school……….oh the tears are flowing. Why me, why me? All my little dreams are yet again put on hold, I might as well just stop having dreams at this point, it seems the powers may be have a different plan for me.

That "feeling"

I take care of a little boy during the week and I take him on little adventures. I like to take him to the places that I would go to as a child. The first place I took him was Children’s Playground in Golden Gate Park, I haven’t been there in a very long time and I think I was a little bit more excited to go then he was. When we arrived it was pure madness, apparently 10am at the park is the hot hour, I had never seen so many kids before. Anyways, all of the play structure has been changed the only thing that has been kept are the cement slides and marry go-round. A feeling I was used to was no longer there, was it because I’m all grown up now? My friend Miguel and I one day took the little guy to the Zoo. As a child my Dad loved to take my brother and I to the Zoo and I have wonderful memories of going. The foggy Sunset days, wearing my colorful jacket, having a coke and hot dog with my Dad and brother, my favorite spots were the petting area and wanting to see the Lyons at feeing time, good times. So my friend and I get the Zoo and before we even get in that feeling was no were to be found. The Zoo changed their entrance to the Zoo is not even the same, it reminded me of some theme park, and the layout was all different.

I think I should have known better, there comes a time when Christmas and Easter doesn’t feel the same anymore because you have reached an age in your life were I guess you could say the “magic” is gone. My brother and I would wake up 6 or 7 am Christmas morning to see what we got from Santa and then go wake up our parents. Now I just want to sleep in, I say “F” the gifts, if Santa hasn’t left me a billion dollar check I could care less about what’s under that tree. And Easter, I used to love Easter more than Christmas. My family and I would go to my Grandmas house and all the family would be there, my older cousins would hide the eggs for my brother and I and one of them would ring the door bell to pretend it was the Easter Bunny letting us know he came by and hid the eggs. I would always run to the door and open it hoping I would catch the Easter Bunny and I would remember I would get so upset every time for missing him. After the let down, we would all go outside and hunt for the eggs, it was a big deal when my brother and I would find the eggs with our name on them, “the Easter Bunny knows who I am!!”. Awww good times.

So now what? The joys I had when I was a child have been long gone, what makes me excited now? Well living in such a selfish world when anyone remembers or goes out of there way for me, I think it’s a big deal, like I won the lotto or something. Going to shows to see my favorite band or DJ play live is very exciting. Meeting someone new is also exciting, and if the date goes well that’s even more exciting………I could go on but I’ll stop. I can see that I have many things to be excited about, they might not give me that “feeling” like I had as a child and I guess that’s okay, but a part of me will always miss it.