The way no man I think could ever fuck me.

When Monday hits I wish it was Friday all over again, and then Tuesday comes and I forget about how good it feels when I’m high and drunk on the weekend, more high then drunk. Music sounds so much better when your high, I’ll never forget the first time I heard music when I was high, I kind of got freaked out and then I collected myself and gave in and it was amazing, at one point I told my guy friend Blake “the music feels like cream running down my ear” I had no idea what I meant by that and I don’t think he did either, I just knew the music felt smooth to my ears. I let go of everything, I feel the music is in my sole, in my body, fucking me the way no man I think could ever fuck me(alough having sex when your high is awesome), it hugs me and holds me and I love every minute of it. I wish I could be high everyday but I would never get anything done I would just lay on the floor of my room all day and listen to music and then of cores leave the house for my reliable cravings Pizza, Twix and Kit Kat’s, every fucking time, it’s nice to know when I’m high I’m at least consistent ! As for the rest of my life and the people in it, that’s a different story, or blog should I say?

Admit it, we are the same....

I think one of the biggest pet peeves I have is feeling embarrassed, and for 3 months now that’s how I have been feeling……..I want to say something so bad but I know what I want to say isn’t going to change anything, I’m sure it would only make things worse dealing with the fact that this being is malicious and wallows in its own shit for the rest of the world to feel sorry for it (personally I think it just needs a really good blow and fuck ,the kind that you think your brain is going to explode out of your head). Why did you look at me all those time? I know why I looked at you, it was for a different reason than yours, do even you know that? Now I’m starting to feel sick, just knowing the fact that there will be times we might be in the same part of the city and I’m going to be the only one out of the 2 of us that’s going to care, my heart is going to race, my palms are going sweat, my stomach is going to feel weak and you’re never going to know this or care. So it turns back around to me feeling embarrassed for falling for a being that will never look or think about me.
If I could have a moment with you, I would push you up against the wall and tell you how much we are the same and how little we are different and then when the tears start that’s when I let parts of your shirt that’s crumpled up in my hands go and walk away and only hope you will come up behind me, turn me around and tell me, “your right”.