Friendemies

We all have them, that girl we used to be friends with and then pulled a fast one on you and you said "good bye" and just knowing if you saw her face walking down the street your heart would pound a mile a minute and the two things that would cross your mind would be 1. run and 2. I want to punch you in the face!

Last night I attended an unsuccessful drag show, the place was SO packed that my friend and I didn't get to see the show (it was fine with me I had a major headache and was stoned off my ass) as we were people watching my friend bumped into this guy from her home town, they chatted it up and when he left she tells me that he was the last person she EVER thought she would ever run into; I ask, is this a good thing or bad thing? She told me a while back she got sexually assaulted at a house party and the girls house who's party it was at, she was friends with this girl(this girl is the guy who she ran into her bother), and at some point during the party my friend was VERY drunk and she went to the bathroom with some guy, the guy aggressively manhandled her and bruises and blood was involved! When the guy saw the blood she ran and my friend was left drunk and unaware what the hell just happened. The girl who was throwing the party said it was all of my friends fault and later that week started to tell people she was a slut!! Even her very very close friends where questioning her and saying she was drunk and this is what happens when you get drunk!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!!! Its called having TRUE friends around you, who A. would NEVER let that happen to you or B. If it did, would NEVER question her sexual motives, all they should be thinking about is how they can catch the fucker and beat the crap out of him!!! So then she tells me how much she hates this girl and how she cant believe she's living in SF and she hopes to never run into her because she has been trying to move on from the past for so long.

I have never thought it was a good idea to forget the past, the past is what makes you who you are, if anything expect what has happened learn from it and move on, not forget it, just move on! But if this is the way my friend needs to do so be it.

As far as I know my friendemie still lives a block and half away from my house and I have seen her on the bus a few times. I freak out and put my head down or look the other way, I hate this girl SO much, she was I think the worst friends I have ever had! She used me, she put drama in my life and would make fun of me all the time!! I learned alot from her, how to be a GOOD friend, but I also sometimes wish I NEVER met her, and if I ever got a chance to exchange some words with her.........lets just say some words might not be the only thing being exchanged!!

I find it funny though, the hate someone can make you have over them, what drives you to it? Like I know why I hate this girl and my friend knows why she hates that girl but WHY?? Maybe for her, she knew she wasn't a slut and was so hurt that this lie was passed around with her peers? For me, maybe its because I know how nice of a friend I am and this girl used me like a door mat.....I don't know. I do know this, I only want one friendemies, because any more than that, I really might need to move!!

May Favorites!

Everyone please meet Kate Lanphear!







Kate is the style editor for US Elle magazine,she wears my favorite colors;black, gray and white. Her style is goth/rocker sheik and I cant get enough of her or her style, the Olsen twins might have to take second seat, I think Kate has moved to front row of who's closet I would love to raid! She keeps is simple in a way, but eye catching and that's something that I always try to fallow when I dress, plus how wrong can you go with black?

Desperate To Connect

Gotye- Hearts A Mess from Gotye on Vimeo.

Thats what I'm looking for....to connect!!!

What am I looking for?

I feel like I keep looking for something that maybe i'm not meant to have yet, and is this is true then a nice big sign should wave infront of my face please!

Love Bug

You know when you have the Love Bug when you cant eat or sleep, and I haven't had a whole meal and a full 8 hours of sleep for about 2 1/2 days! Oh Cupid, you hit me hard this time you little shit!!

Live in Life

Today I went over to one of my guy friends house for him to fix my computer; it got a nasty little cold, its feeling much better now! Anyways, as he was talking with me about computers and using term I had/have no idea what they mean, I kind of started to get a little worried about myself. Like, I know I know very little about computers, and I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world but at the same time I was thinking about all the people I know and almost all of them knows way more than me……….even my mom, and this is the women who doesn’t know how to start the DVD player!!

I feel I’m in trouble! I feel I know nothing of the things that I should know! Who’s stopping me…..myself! I hate to fail, it really really bothers me, so the things I’m not good at, I stay far far away from, I guess like anyone else? I have also been thinking about are my goals achievable? Have I set them too high, even though they are very simple? I’ll be turning 26 this summer and what have I done with my life? Not much, but at the same time in order to function in life I have to take one step at a time, because in general, life is really overwhelming for me! I guess I should chill out and just live in life the best way you can, and try to understand it the best way you can.