Unexpected phone call!

Last Tuesday night was setting up my new cell phone when a random number called my cell, it was around 10ish and most of the time I don't pick up random number calls but I think my brain wasn't thinking so I pick up. I say "hello?" "T. hey its Surfer Guy..." HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He then adds "I guess you dont have me in your phone anymore the way you answered, and I dont blame you" "Your right I dont" he adds, "Look I'm really glad you picked up, I'm calling to say I'm sorry" "okay..." "I have been thinking alot about you and how the way everything ended wasn't very nice on my part and there was a reason why I didnt want to kiss you or hold your hand that night was because I get like blisters on the side of my lip sometimes if my face gets sunburn from surfing and I didnt want you to kiss me because I thought it would be gross". I tell him, I didnt even notice it, then he tells me over and over and over again how sorry he was and says he thinks we could have been something together. I tell him that as much as he is easy on the eyes he is not easy with the personalty!! "Ouch" he says, then he asks to see me!!!!! I asked him why, what would be the point, he says he feels he has more to say..........as much as this guy hurt me and made me cry, I do find him very cute and amazing in bed!! I tell him fine, so I go to his place the next night and we talk for a long time, it more shoot the shit talk, I thought we would be talking about "us", then he comes closer to me and we kiss...parts get touched and I end it right when he says he wants to be inside of me........FUCK NO AM I HAVING SEX WITH THIS DUDE, EVEN IF HE'S GOOD IN BED!!!! I can tell he's a little bit upset (I DONT CARE!!). He gets up to leave the room, but before he leaves he asks if I would like some water, I say yes, he comes back with water for me and a beer for himself. We start talking agian and I tell him this story about this lady at school and he brought up that I expect too much of people; when he said this it made me think about my last blog on how I view people in my life and he was right, I do expect too much from people!!

We keep talking, but all the conversations feel forced and it was kind of exhausting for me and I wanted to leave but wasn't sure how to go about it until he tells me about his roommate that just broke up with this girlfriend and I guess how he just said to her its over and now every time he try's to call her she wont pick up....I said "well can you blame her?", Surfer Guy lost his shit and said "why would you say that!!" I look at him like "wtf dude" I was so confused, its my opinion, I can say whatever I want, I didn't know what to say, he tells me he wasn't done with the story. Okay so you know when your talking with someone and they are telling you a story and maybe they stop the story for a second but you know they are going to keep going and you pick up that cue? Well Surfer Guy did not give me any sign that there was more to this story, AT ALL!!! He stays on why would I say something like that and I am so over all of this, I start to put my boots and coat on and he flips out again "why are you leaving?" (because your crazy!!!) I tell him that "I think this is not going very well and I dont like all the questions your asking me!" He says he's sorry and he didnt mean to upset me, I stand up, so does hi, he walks me to the door and he has the nerve to ask to see me on Saturday!!!! I look up at him and I said "Surfer Guy we keep getting into arguments, this is not going to work, and I think it was never meant to work" he gives me a hug and says "sorry" again. I turn to walk away and he says "I'll talk with you later". THE FUCK YOU WONT!!! If that fucker contacts me again I think I'll call the police!!!!

As I was driving home Black Eyed Peas was playing "and tonight's going to be good night", I found it to be the opposite from what my night was but then I thought, no, it was a good night! I learned something out that visit! 1. I expect too much from people, 2. Once an ass whole, always an ass whole and 3. If you have a hunch something is not a good idea, don't do it!!!

Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling from UniversalMusicGroup on Vimeo.

August Favorites

I think this dress is just stunning! It's by Alxender McQueen, I thought about how it would look with black instead of the yellow and then the black lace part would be white, but that would be to ordinary/expected? The yellow is very unexpected and the lace (if that's what it is) is breath taking...good job McQueen!!


Antonio Berardi collection I LOVE, there are very few peaces in the fall/winter 09/10 collection that I don't like. They are all very simple with some of my favoret colors!

http://www.style.com/fashionshows/complete/slideshow/2010RST-ABERARDI/

This Jil Sander shoe I think is HOT HOT HOT, and the moment I saw it I dreamed of wearing it, hens DREAM!!


We all have a little "she wolf" in our closet!! I think this is Sherika's best song yet, the dancing is CRAZY GOOD, but I will say the end is a little cheesy, but they show a fake background of SF so that's cool!

SheWolf from C. Enrique B. on Vimeo.

Brilliant!

Sonny Groo from Stylelikeu.com from Stylelikeu on Vimeo.

Its very hard to have any kind of relationship he said.

A few weeks ago I was home on a Saturday night and I checked the T.V. Guide to see what was on, I saw this show was going to be coming up in a few minutes called "Your Brain In Love". The romantic that I am I had to check it out. The show starts and its this little guy who came across as kind of creepy/gay but then mentioned that he had a wife (as my mother says, "that doesn't always mean anything"!). His name is Dr. Daniel Amen and he first started to talk about people who have damaged brains, like from car accidents or from drug and alcohol use to people who have not had any of that happen to them. He went on talking about the battle of the sexes, how when men are at rest 70% of their brain is not working, so when you want to ask them something you need to use simple words and keep it a short sentence; unlike women, when we are at rest only 90% of our brain is not working, but in a way its not really resting, we are still thinking (so true, when I'm watching T.V., I'm thinking what I have to do tomorrow). All of this was interesting, but kind of like, I've already herd this before stuff until he brought up people with ADD/ADHD, now he got my attention!

To my knowledge, I have not be tested for ADD/ADHD, but I don't know for sure. Dr. Amen said that people who have a ADD/ADHD think with the front part of their brain (I think dyslexic's do too) unlike people who don't have ADD/ADHD. So for the front brain thinkers, they don't really do the whole think before you speak thing and that can you get you into trouble sometimes if your in a serious relationship! He says people who have this benefit from being on meds that helps you THINK before you speak! I found this VERY interesting, because I am known to just say whats on my mind, sometimes very honest or blunt, once in a blue moon it has gotten me into trouble, but I feel I think before I speak......I'm just honest in what comes out of my mouth! But it did get me thinking, do I think before I speak? And then I also started to think about all of my relationships, friends and guy's I have dated have never really worked out and has the reason for this been because of me?

Looking back in the past I have never really had a satisfying friendship and dudeship, all of them have screwed me over one way or another. I have talked about this in the past that I do put people on a pedestal, for friends its waiting for them to disappoint me and with guys expecting them to disappoint me. Is this wrong? I was talking about this with some girls over the weekend and they said no, but in a way I think it is, I mean I do have trust issues but do I have relationship issues as well? I have been hanging out with my cousin lately and when we get together we gossip and such, and she tells me about guys she has dated and what selfish thing one of her friends are/did to her and I have been thinking that this is just life! Yes, maybe I do have over the map relationship problems, but also no one is perfect and no matter what kind of relationship you are in with someone, friend, co-worker, boyfriend,bla bla bla, they are all going to disappoint you in some way.

I think its hard for me to understand this, when somethings goes wrong it really brings me down and the first thing I think of is "delete", cut it out of my life because its hard for me to see a solution to the problem. In the past few day's I've been thinking maybe I'm better off being alone because dealing/socializing with other people can be really overwhelming for me at times........Dr. Amen can you help me, or am I doomed for life?

Caleb Followill you can use me!

Sex is on fire from PirateSmoothie on Vimeo.

even Lykke Li knows what's up!

Exclusive Video of Lykke Li Covering Kings of Leon Live in KNRK studio from Dave Allen on Vimeo.

One more week of summer.

School starts for me next week and this week is my last week of summer....kind of sad. My summer hasn't been the greatest, but I have learned somethings this summer about my friends and my life. It has all been very useful information that I have gathered up over the past 3 months, and I'm a big believer on everything happens for a reason and what better time then now? I'm crossing my fingers really hard and ready to work harder then I've ever worked in my life to pass this math class and if it means going out less (as of lately I have been) then so be it. I want to make my dreams come true in the spring.....if all goes well I will have a job save the money and live with roommates, and be out of the most foggy part of the city!! I'm also willing to sacrifice not getting laid till now to December........BUT if the opportunity comes along I will not turn away from it, I'm just not going to hunt for it like I usually do; math is more important!!

I know when I put all my hard work into something the results show, I feel better about myself, it also helps to set a reward. Yes the big reward would to get a job and leave the nest but I've been itching to get my ass over to NYC for a long time now and so has one of my guy friends who lives over there. If I pass, NYC is my reward!!!

Let the challenge begin!!

Lady Gaga sing for me girl!!

My Birthday Party!

Was hit! One of my friends offered to go with me to the bar, so that was nice of her. It was funny when her and her boyfriend and I got on the N, her old roommates where on it and then a few stops, some other people go on the N who I invited to my party, it was cute! A few people didn't show up that I was kind of hoping to see but it was fine. Almost everyone bought me a drink and I got nicely stoned, it was great! .I realized why I was nervous, I had never thrown a party this big for myself (it wasn't very big) but all of my birthday parties have been like no more then 4-5 people so this was different for me! Everyone loved my outfit, but no one said anything about the red lipstick, I was really iffy about wearing it being that the last time I wore red lipstick was back in like 8th grade...well it was more red/brown/rusty, anyways to see my lips look all 3D was weird, but I'm glad I did it and I think it will be a look I might do more often!!


Fake leather skirt from UO, coat from Good Will, AA tee, DKNY hoes and Farylrobin suede ankle booties!

8-3-83

Today at 4am I turned 26 (that's when I came into the world)! Out of all the numbers I have turned this number I am nervous about the most, or am I just nervous about tonight? So many people are coming (well they say they are coming) and it has shocked me, I never thought some of these people would want to come to my party. I'm sure its all in my head, or could be true or maybe both that I think most people dont like me because I can be somewhat of a shit; I think also being that I kind of dont like everything about myself I dont see why anyone would want to hang out with me or be my friend. I'm kind of regretting tonight, it would help a lot if my brother was home, I would make him take the street car with me, put my head on his shoulder and he would tell me "everything is going to be fine, dont worry!!".I'm sure he would also make me laugh, he's really good at that!!

I'll keep you posted!

Gareth Pugh could I hang out with you?