There is this quote that Audrey Hepburn said, now I'm not sure if she really said it but being a big fan of hers I like to hope she did. Audrey said "I don't want to be alone I just want to be left alone". I have a feeling I have talked about this quote before but whatever. I saw the therapist the other day and we talked about the issues I have with other women, how I don't seem to understand "the way of women", more so the cattiness. In my head what I imagine is a sisterhood, but I guess that's just wishful thinking!I also talked about the close people in my life and some of the things they say how I can feel picked on, but am I really being picked on or am I making a big deal? My therapist said it sounded to her that you just want to be you, and that was so refreshing to hear, you have no idea!!! YES, I JUST WANT TO BE ME!!!!
ME, the young women who does odd things who thinks odd/not like other people, who might cut an onion not the "right way" who loves fashion and interior design and reading silly books and who likes mayo on almost everything and the young women who could watch T.V for hours, who likes to talk about shit and farting and who wishes her dog could talk and wishes also she was a mermaid and would like science to really make a unicorn REAL, I also like things to look perfect and clean, I can be overly motherly and I like it, the young lady who could spend a day/hours in the bathroom!!
That's me, but I don't feel I get to be all of that, like sometimes I feel its all wrong, it's wrong when someone says something. But is it wrong, or the person who says it are they in the wrong because i am just being me? I was thinking if I was this artist (I do think I am an artist in a way but I'm not one that the public would say "yes you are") like a painter or welder, fashion maker, whatever maybe people would be like "well she is an artist, you have to let them do there thing". My Guy his brother is an artist,he gets paid to do this thing and My Guy's brother does sometimes some odd stuff and I have herd My Guy say "you know my brother, he's an artist" so there for he gets to be who he is? If only I was raised by hippie parents or parents who really pushed me to let me be me. Am I finely finding myself, at 29 years old? Would it be selfish of me to do what I want and what I feel, what I am inspired by, me being me?
I'm like holding all this color and it wants to burst out, and I'm only letting it drip drop to be safe.
