I can already predict that some big changes will be happening, because it is going to happen! 2013 is going to be interesting, hard, sad, and unsure and I hope some happy fits in.
I have decided to go back to school being that the lack of job experience I have I think has been holding me back from landing a job; also this economy sucks too!
I finished college in 2010 with an Associates Degree and now I will be going back to school to achieve a Medical Receptionist Certificate. With a late thought about all of this and registration I was able to score 2 classes for Spring!
I have also started to see a therapist again, I'm only 3 sessions in and so far it's been okay. I'm seeing a new therapist and she is nice but a little awkward, I'm glad I seem to do well with awkward people! Today we talked about My Guy's friend and my friend who happen to both have colon cancer! My Guy's friend is a married man who is also a father of two little boy's, I'm not even sure if the oldest son is older that 5 years old. And my male friend is 30 years old! My Guy's friend sent out an email thanking everyone for their support and just being a friend and hoping everyone will stay in contact with his wife and children. His life is now just on a clock, and it's very very sad.
My Guy was very sad when he read this email to me last night and I was too, all I could think about where the children and wife, how unfair this all is. And then I started to think about my friend who is only 30 years old and how young he is and how unfair that is too!
I brought up to My Guy how we are both in the same boat, both friends have colon cancer. My Guy shut me down on this, he did not agree with me, his friend has a much worse situation than my friend! And then he talked about how awful it is I like to watch "The Housewives of..." how not in touch with reality those people are (duh, that's kind of the point of watching) and then what a pointless job my mother has for working for a church because it doesn't matter how much you pray!
I was so hurt and very angry that My Guy would not validate my feelings, he shut me down! And then also to make comments on my vice interests and also to say something about my mother's job!I understand he was angry, he knows all too well whats it like loosing a father at a young age but why did he need to say what he said?
My therapist gave me reinsurance that my feelings about my friend is just as important as My Guy's friend and that My Guy should have not shut me down the way he did. I feel like I never want to talk about my friend to My Guy ever again and I also hope that My Guy will never ask about my friend, like ever!
My therapist and I talked about this and then My Guy and I our relationship on a whole and I am missing feeling confident about my feelings from him, I wish we could share this sadness but we cant because my friend doesn't matter!She asked me what I would like out of my relationship and I said I want to feel confident in what I say and think from My Guy. I would also like if he never brought up NEVER AGAIN what my parents do for a living/work!Just don't shut me down, don't call me names and please don't talk about my family in a disrespectful way!
Speaking about family, my brother has decided to move back home and go back to school. And My Guy would like me to move in with him. I am not sure sometimes if I want to live with him, My Guy seems so angry and at times I'm not sure if he really likes me anymore. And I know if I stay with my parents home I will have to listen to my parents and brother fight.
It's all just so much to take in! Going back to school, seeing a therapist, brother moving back and "stuff" with my boyfriend.
