Yesterday I reached out to a suicide hotline, but to be with "the times" they have a chat line, so less pressure I guess. Some drama went down yesterday morning that I know was all my fault and I feel really really awful for! I was thinking not okay things, it felt like black ink, black poison was taking over my body, and soon my eyes would turn black and I would talk like a demon! These wonderful women named Sarah helped me out and made me realize that a third party in my life is needed. Being that I am unable to receive the kind of advocate from a friend that I would really like the next best thing is a therapist. I really liked my therapist the I was seeing a few years ago but I felt sometimes she would say in words.."hang in there" I need more than that, even some tough love is okay with me! This wonderful women suggested me to a place and I am very interested in.
This is not going to be my quick fix, it will be a journey that I have gone down before but this time a little different but I'm looking forward to the outcome. I'll make sure to pack lots of food and water, for this journey might be a long one!
