Today I got my first "citation" driving ticket. I knew the day was going to come and I knew I was going to cry, and I did! I didn't cry to try to make the cop feel sorry, I cried because I did something wrong and I cant stand to do anything wrong, most of my life has been "WONG,your doing that wrong, your saying that wrong, your spelling that wrong, WRONG"!!! I really cant handle it, I would much rather you beat me with a stick, really, just come over to me and beat me with a stick then telling me that I'm wrong. It's not that I have to be perfect or right at everything I do, I just want to do good and I try to achieve that everyday....... well almost everyday.
When I was taking care of my baby cousin today I was thinking why I was still all upset about this and then I figured it out, and then I thought about how I'm going to deal when I'm done with school and get a real job, someone at some point is going to tell me I'm doing something wrong and it's not going to be okay to cry!!!
I really do feel sometimes that maybe I'm not cut out for this world, I really do. Life just gets really overwhelming sometimes for me and I don't handle it like an adult, I act like a child and its not okay with me!
