Fallow your dream they tell me.

Lately I have been running into people or have been watching movies and T.V with messages and conversations about living your life. I just got back from seeing the movie Benjamin Button, it was a very nice film, but a little long, aside from that the ending was satisfying. I’m an “ending person” if the ending of a movie doesn’t leave an impression on me it loses a few points no matter how good of a movie it was. For example No Country for Old Men, LOVED the movie, but the ending was a little bit of a disappointment, I will still forever think it’s a great film but the ending could have been something amazing.; not everything can be perfect, right? Going back to Button the ending was Brads voice and it was showing all the people in the movie who he had met throughout his life and how some people are button collectors, some people are dancers and some people are artists………..yes, everyone is something in life some greater than others, this was a “duha” moment for me but at the same time a little bit of a slap on the head to ask myself who am I? I’m a young woman, a student and a babysitter, two out of the 3 I never thought I would be. As I was watching the movie I thought does everyone have lavish dreams about themselves and what they want their lives to be like or do only some people do? I’m always dreaming in lavish thoughts, I have these big ideas about my life but am too scared to put them into action for the most popular reason, failing. A part of myself will never like myself and I don’t think will ever expect my flaw, if I could trade for a new brain I would in a heat beat, I know by saying this I’m letting my flaw win, and so oh well. My dream would be to dress people (stylist); I would love to be the next Stacy London or the next Rachael Zoe, I’m good at bossing people around already I got that down to a T but to take the step in making everything else happen scars the shit out of me. Most people don’t fallow their dreams but the ones that do love their life more and at the end of the day and the beginning of my morning I want to love my job and my life. So maybe are all these messages that I’m getting a sign, a wakeup call, because if they are you have at least gotten me to poke my head out; and that’s a big step for me.