The way i brought in 2008 last year was 4 rented movies and 3 cans of beer snuggled under 2 heavy blankets on my couch, all of my friends were out of town and one was working. I was kind of okay with this, i remember it was a very cold new years eve and i cant stand to be out in the cold, also everything in the city is SO expensive and all i had to pay for was the movies that came out to be $10. I remember saying to myself that next year you will not be spending new years eve by yourself, and i wont be this year in fact! I'll be with my fabulous friends hoping to house party to another house party.
Last November i started to hang out with a classmate who later became one of my very good friends and we were having dinner together and i was telling her i was doing alot of reflecting, she said "winter does that.....", its true, i don't find myself doing much reflecting in all the other seasons (not that SF has seasons); but last year my reflecting was on how many sex partners have i had and it wasn't very many, also i was reflecting on what kind of guys they were too. This year my reflecting is not to far off from last year, I'm going to set some goals for myself this coming new year..........
1. Play hard to get - This really needs to happen, I'm to nice and i haven't broken enough hearts or teased enough!
2. Work out - I really need to do this more then i do, i only work out maybe 3 times a month and i need to do it way more then that, when i work out i feel so good about myself!
3. Going back to therapy - I'm really thinking about this very carefully, It's been a year and half, and i feel very torn in should i or shouldn't i go back, I know the "light bulb" moment will happen and when it does that will be my answer.
I'm going to keep it at 3 for now, i don't like to set to many goals for myself because then i wont keep them.
What a year this has been for me though, lets see what i can remember!! Jan - was all about the dude, The Writer that i had a class with, i remember i was starting to drive then too. Feb - I don't remember. March - Don't remember. April - I smoked the biggest joint of my life on 4/20 while watching The Big Lebowski at the Red Vic, then my 2 best friends hooked up that night and when i found out i was really not okay with this because i was worried that if it didn't work out then drama would happen, and it did. Also it was just odd for me personally, i had never had 2 very close friends hook up with each other because.......well i have never really had close friends!! May - My baby cousin was born, i started to work for a family friend, i had to say good bye to my other job, it was a bitter sweet month, i loved my boss at my old job, to bad the work wasn't as awesome. June - I met a dude at one of my friends house parties, who ended up have problems in the bed room, and was a little too needy for me, but all in all was VERY sweet to me. My other cousin was born, now we had 2 new babies in the family. July - I'm wondering was this when my 2 friends that hooked up stopped hanging out with each other? 4th of July was just alright, friends and i had a good meal with the folks then headed over to a really awesome house in Hayes Vally. I also had to say goodbye to one of the sweetest people i have ever met, it was nice to know truly sweet people do live, I will miss you Zeynep! Aug - I turned 25, had a very awesome birthday with friends and ended things with bed room problems dude. School started, and i made my goal to try to get laid once a month. Sept - I hook up with my first dude that kicked off my goal.......such a disappointment, later found out he used me to fill his void for some other chick that doesn't love him back, i really wish i could find this chick and tell her to keep not loving him, he's a disappointment in bed. Oct - I hooked up with my 2nd dude who ended up having a slapping fetish and really freaked me out, I went to the best Halloween party EVER, i dressed up as Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction. My brother ran into a car on his bike, thank God he didnt break anything! Nov - Obama!!! Went on a really bad date but my night turned around and met a really cool guy who is known as "Messenger Boy" who also threw off my whole once a month goal because he has now rolled over to Dec. Dec - My Christmas was really good, Santa brought me all the things i asked for, I have been doing some heavy thinking about myself......i think that's it!
Maybe not an exciting year for some people but some of the things that happened were exciting for me. For a very long time in my life was a loner, a wallflower ( I still feel i am) and some of these things that happened to me i only thought happened to "cool" people or in the movies. I hope to continue to set silly personal goals for myself, I hope to keep coming out of my shell, I hope to continue to meet new people who make me laugh and are inspiring. And most of all I hope to continue to keep growing into an awesome person!
Happy New Year everyone!!
