Sometimes

Sometimes it gets too heavy, sometimes I want to throw up, sometimes I want to stay in bed all day and all night hoping my body will not get antsy to want to get out, sometimes I want to cry, sometimes I wish people would could really see who I truly am, sometimes I regret the things I do and say, sometimes I wish I wasn’t sexual, sometimes being numb is nice, sometimes feeling is overwhelming, sometimes I think I’m a joke, sometimes I’m hopeless, sometimes no matter how long I’ve been the shower I just can’t wash away the mess I made for myself, sometimes I’m a shit talker, sometimes it would be better if it just all went to hell, sometimes I can’t save myself, sometimes I like to make drama, sometimes I just want beer for dinner, sometimes I want to punch something but I know I will hurt my hand, sometimes I do too much, sometimes I’m sick of myself, sometimes I watch porn, sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t look like its ever going to happen, sometimes I get jealous, sometimes I get lonely, sometimes I feel stupid, sometimes I wish people would really say what they want to say to me, sometimes I worry about losing all of my friends, sometimes I think guys are the worst and best creation ever, sometimes I want to be famous, sometimes I want to scream, sometimes I want a tattoo, sometimes I think I’m cooler than everyone else, sometimes I want to shave my head, sometimes it really hurts, sometimes the worrying is worrying, sometimes having a vagina sucks, sometimes I feel very alone, sometimes no one understands me, sometimes eating is therapy, sometimes I feel I’m missing out on life, sometimes I don’t think I’m good enough, sometimes I feel I’m gross, sometimes I think I’m hot shit, sometimes I strut the down the street, sometimes I watch TV. all almost all day, sometimes i want to be in a relationship, sometimes i want to drive and see where i end up, sometimes i get really shy, sometimes...................