More time

I got a 2 week job working at one of the colleges here in SF and small world someone who I have known for years works in the same department, if things go well I might get a permanent job there, and if that happens that would be really nice. Everyone in the department is SO NICE and helpful, I couldn't ask to work with nicer people!! My Guy and I have been on a the rocks for a while, it is my fault. I do not know how to balance 5 things at once in my life, in my work life I am okay with. I am very scared that I will loose my best friend. I am someone who needs some time and I feel sometimes like a Mom who had twins, when one is hungry the other is crying and to try to feed the one who is hungry and then make the other stop crying AT THE SAME TIME!! I don't know how it can be done!! I feel I have a time bomb sitting on my chest waiting for me to make the wrong move and then BAM, My Guy will have had enough and can not wait anymore and leave. My life will not be over, but it will feel like I have a whole in my heart and I will feel empty and very sad. To try to focus on achieving a life of my own, an adult life has been this LONG, VERY VERY LONG ROAD and I might, I just might be finally getting to the end. And for the people in my life who want to get out of the car because this trip has gone on to long, I understand, but I also need them to understand everyone has a road of achievement they drive down and it's up to other people if they want to watch, be apart of or not be apart of. My Guy seems he does but he is a little burnt out and I feel so bad, I had an anxiety attack this morning over how sad he is and how it's my move to make things better. I KNOW it's my move, I know I need to make things better and I AM TRYING!!!!!!! It is something that I think about all the time, over and over and over again, and it kills me!!!!! I have not been sleeping well, most of the reason being that I am stressed out over if I will ever find a job but one of the other reasons is My Guy, I am stressing big time over him. I am so overwhelmed and I am trying to fix it all but it has been so hard and if I could just have more time.....