I have realized that I really don't like to go out on Friday nights, I like to be home sitting on my couch or bed watching a movie and going to bed at a decent hour so I can wake up at like 8:30-9am and have a wonderful Saturday!
I also dont like the feeling knowing that if I didnt show up at a bar, club, house party, whatever it really wouldn't have mattered, even though you were begged and had a gun put to your head to show up..............your time was waisted and you felt used! I hate to waist people's time, and rarely ever will I use someone, I feel very strongly about Karma! I was thinking about friendships in SF, looking at my past....lets just say I have shoes that are older.
I was asked last night by MyGuy if I missed anything about being single and I told him that I missed being able to wake up in the morning and just go, like not having to tell anyone what your going to do for the weekend, you are able to just get up and go. I also wanted to add, drama. I HATE drama, and thats what I felt this weekend was all about, being single, the only drama you have is with yourself and you can stop that as fast as you started; but not when your seeing someone. I love MyGuy very much and I dont often think about being single, I only think about it when times get tough because I really can't handle drama with people it is VERY overwhelming for me, my brain feels like it's going to explode. I would have to say that's when I crave being by myself the most and the power to snap my fingers and be away from that person.
All I want I feel are simple things, be there for me like I am for you, be a true friend, dont put drama in my life because I will go out of my way to not put it in yours, know that sometimes I want to be left alone and not take it personally.
I'm pissed, heartbroken, drained, let down and overwhelmed.
"I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone"
Audrey Hepburn
