Do you ever have that day were you would like to throw your body in front of a moving bus, well today is that kind of day for me. The only good thing about today is the weather, and I wish I was excited about that!
This whole adult thing is really catching up to me, I'm not like freaking out about "oh, man I'm an adult now, shit, what do I do" no, it's more like stuff is going to happen and I don't know how the hell I'm going to deal. My Guy and sometimes have heavy conversations and I freak out a little bit because it way too much for me, and it really makes me question myself if I am capable to handle life, would I be better off being stuck in a padded wall cell?
I had this fast conversation with this girl I met one night when I was having drinks with a long time friend who was visiting from NYC, she was bipolar and she was dyslexic, I started to say something like "you feel like your only good at this one thing, and if I'm only good at this one thing then whats the point of living on this planet if I can only offer one thing" she looked me for a second like I was a ghost and then said "it's like you were in my head", that made me feel good for a bit to know that someone else feels that way out there. I told My Guy the other day, I look at the end of my day like "Well I didn't understand today, so maybe I will tomorrow" I feel like thats my life, thats how it is everyday for me.
I woke up this morning feeling like shit.
