When I was in high school my life was all about music and movies. After high school I continued to stay with my hobby, I dont know when it happened but something got in the way or did I loose interest? I'm not blaming it on other people but I do have a hard time balancing my hobby's and people in my life. When I didnt have really any friends, I would go to the movies and rest movies A LOT, and when I was single I would go to concert or venue shows A LOT. I got to pick and choose how I wanted to spend my time, now I feel I can't. My life is mostly spent on looking for jobs and making sure I have my laundry done for the weekend because I will be with the boyfriend.
I would pick up a SF Weekly and Bay Guardian every Wed when I went to school and then I would check some of the movie houses on-line, I used to check out Pitchfork too. Now I'm all into fashion blogs, can I go back, can I be into both? Did I forget all about that part of my life because that's what I did when I was younger or because that was a really sad part of my life....I dont know, but I do know I miss it!
I miss my simple little bubble life, everything was in it's right place, everything was quiet, I had a routine, I had a routine, I dont have one anymore. I feel i'm not allowed.
I want to be able to do my thing without someone telling me otherwise, but thats not possible.
I'm not sure what's going to happen to me, but I'm scared that what used to make me happy will someday really disappear.
