I remember when I found out when my Ex started dating someone else after 4 months after we broke up, we had been together for almost 2yrs. When I found out, it really hurt, I remember finding out on a networking site and I cried on my bedroom floor for it felt like hours. I asked myself a million questions like "how come he's ready to date and I'm not" "did he really love me" "is he really over me" "what did I do wrong for him not to want to stay in SF" (he was originally from Los Angles area but went to college in SF). It was a hard year for me, he wanted to keep in contact and I wasn't so sure about it but I went along, he would talk about her to me sometimes and I would just listen, I never asked questions about her because I didn't want to know. One day, we were talking on the computer and he was asking me and I felt it was too personal questions about if I was dating or sleeping with anyone, I didn't want to talk about this stuff with my Ex it just didn't seem right. I told him that I no longer wanted to have any contact with him and that this is it; he said "have a nice life, bye!". And that was it, I never contacted him ever again, I would find out stuff about him from time to time because I was friends with one of his old roommates (who I no long really talk to now) but that would be about it.
When I found out he was seeing someone I felt that it was not okay to talk with him anymore, I mean, I have always found it odd when your seeing someone and they still talk with there Ex, or hang out with their Ex, I'm not an insecure person when it comes to this stuff, I just feel your Ex is your past and why do you want to hold on to your past?
The reason why I'm bring this up is, My Guy got a text message the other day from his Ex, I didn't mean to read it, but we were over at his friends place having an early dinner and we had gotten there early so we were helping out before everyone else came over and I was in the room off from the kitchen and his phone made a noise and he said could I check that he thought maybe his friend's might be letting him know they are coming, so I look at the phone and i see this text message "I don't think I'm ever going to meet someone like you.....I'm drunk...." I put the phone down, I stopped myself from reading any further, I had read enough. I didn't know what to think how to feel, but I thought I would wait to see what My Guy was going to do when he read it. He came into the room and asked me if it was his friend and I said no and then looked away, I saw that he read the text and took a deep breath and then walked away for a sec and then he came over to me. He asked if I read it and I said just a little, he said can we talk and I said how about later he said okay. Later could not wait, he was looking really sad, so I asked him if he was okay, he took my hand and baring me into the garage, he said to me to tell him how I feel, so I did. I told him when I saw that I thought 2 things; 1. He is still talking with his Ex, and leading her on or 2. She really was drunk and it was all her doing. He said number 2, then he said he had talked with her after a month we had been going out and he had told her how he felt for me. He said that he loves me and he would never lie to me and bla bla bla, and I trust him and I'm not worried that this chick will break us up or anything I mean she lives in another country! But I am a little annoyed.
I know My Guy and his Ex had been going out for about 5 years, that's a long time, a lot of his friends thought they were going to get married, but the relationship was never right from the start, but everyone else didn't know that. And I know it takes time to heal over a break up, more so for women sometimes but I also feel that people need to know boundaries, both men and women. It seems to me that this girl is going to never leave his life and I'm okay with that but I feel he needs to set some rules with her, I just don't think its okay to contact your Ex whenever you feel like it, drunk or not; unless you were married and had kids and then got divorced, then I could see you will always need to talk with the other person; but this is not the case.
Am I in the wrong on feeling this way?
