- Lately I have been thinking about wanting to start a daily or almost daily fashion blog, but I don't really feel what I wear is creative enough, I mean have you seen the competition out there?
- I feel I'm changing, like I'm morphing into this new "women" part of me feels a little disconnected from myself, like I'm standing back and watching me twist and turn inside of a cocoon and waiting for me to blossom out..........well if this is really what is happening, then when I come out I better be wearing a hot outfit!
- The fog horns have been more active lately then usual, at least I feel. I just love the sound of them, I have been trying to find an app for fog horns, or fog horns by the sea, something like that but no luck so far. I don't think I would be very happy if I lived in a place like Arizona, no sea, I need to know the beach is not far away from me, its sad that San Francisco has shitty beaches, but we do have beautiful public parks. Anyways, I will try to make a promise to myself that I will try to forever stay by the sea so I can listen to the fog horns!
- This teacher of mine that I had in HS I found her on the next working site, I friended her and I have also sent her a message, but no response and I know its on purpose. I would like to know why is she friends with all the crazy/fucked up kids from my 2002 class but wants to have nothing to do with me? It makes me wonder was I a bitch back in HS? Am I a bitch now? Stuff like this really makes me wonder!
- I got hit by a car today, I'M FINE!!! But the guy didn't even say he was sorry nor did he bother to get out of this car, he just rolled down his window and looked at me and then drove off. One of my biggest fears is something happening to me when I'm alone, knowing that I will have to rely on strangers scares me!
- Sometimes I think about going back to therapy. I feel fine, okay in the noodle, but I have these feelings sometimes of uncertainty and discouragement, I don't know. I get worried about myself that I'm never going to be okay unless someone is in my life holding my hand in some way, and I don't really like that and I'm also not sure if that's okay or this is how it must be. I am incapable of doing some things in life on my own, and that's fine, but the percent I would like to know, like how much is the capable part? I should know this! Maybe I do. I don't know.
- I have been watching "Say Yes to the Dress" latley, I'm not getting married, don't know if I want to ever, I go back and forth about this. But I do know a few things: I do not want a ball gown, I do not want my neighbor invited, I want a saxophone player, and no bridesmaids- Its going to be all about me! I don't want to get married in a church, my fiance will not be wearing a bow-tie!
- I miss my brother (he's alive).
